Second Coming Won't Happen As Jesus Made Drunk Promise - Vatican

 
According to spokesperson for the Vatican, Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore, the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all.

Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore has officially announced that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth. But he urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.

Cardinal Salvadore said, "We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it. It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else."

In chapter John 14:1-3 of the Bible, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again: "There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly."

Cardinal explained Jesus’ broken promise saying that he was probably drinking wine at the time when he made the comments. "Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs. We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different," added Cardinal Salvadore.

The church said it will now focus attentions on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the savior’s second coming.